On responsibility

Pontius The Frog: Sometimes I'd like to ask God why he allows poverty, famine and injustic when he could do something about it
Another Frog: What's stopping you?
Pointus The Frog: I'm afraid God might ask me the same question

A fantastic take on being responsible for what you do, from the absolutely fantastic book: Developing the Leader Within You by John C. Maxwell. I'm sure I've waxed eloquent about it at some time.

Preceding the cartoon, is this little poem:

I am only one,

But still I am one.
I cannot do everything,
But still I can do something;
And because I cannot do everything
I will not refuse to do the
something that I can do.

Two Points For Honesty

There are many things that I have pushed back on the to-do list, nay the ULTIMATE to-do list of them all, the 'to-reflect' list.

In many ways, I'm going back to precisely the same behaviors that made me less than who I can become . Actually, I don't know if these behaviors ever went away. In India I was simply trying to do 150% of what I could possibly do, and that let me perform somewhere near my capabilities. It was the incessant people to pay bills to, the incessant stock/inventory to keep, the incessant fires to put out, the incessant incessancy? of Mahendra (God bless his soul for being so perseverant).

It's funny how this thought has even entered my mind. It's not really an internal reflection, but rather a reflection on someone else's mirror. It starts off innocuously - what classes do I take next quarter. Then it boils into, how many classes do I take next quarter? And slowly the heuristics have nothing to do with ourselves - how much is that guy taking (only 3, but the dude never has any free time!). Or, oh my God, that girl is taking 7 classes and running the show here and leading this and leading that, and still manages to look good. BTW, I don't think I still understand the word heuristics fully, but I'm sure our Management& organizations professor will burn it into our psyche forever by the end of 2 more weeks.

Perhaps it is a lack of other heuristics of comparison that forces you into the default one of your work/school peers. It is the ultimate 'crab' mentality: I am only as happy relatively to those around me. And rather than looking for other comparative heuristics, and giving personal weights to it (the logical way), I need to stop comparing altogether. I need to figure out what matters to me (aka priorities) and what am I really capable of (aka competence). And go from there. To realize that, there is only one way. You guessed it. Self-Reflection. It's what Indicorps showed me. It's what Initiatives of Change (formerly MRA) showed off so brilliantly.

I think I started off this quarter with a talk about body, mind and soul. I'm not sure if that is good enough. Or maybe the soul part is a lot more than spirituality. Actually, like heuristics, I don't really understand the meaning of spirituality either.

But Two Points For Honesty, non?

Amitabh Bacchan Now Blogs in Hindi (or rather: अमिताभ बच्चन अब हिन्दी में ब्लौग करते हैं)

While I haven't figured out a 'solution' (or perhaps even a clear problem definition), I am still quite passionate about the promotion of Hindi language usage on the web, and in computers in general. I have seen first-hand the transformation of my students in Bagar when they start using a Hindi-language interface versus an English one.

Looking back: the key difference is in the confidence to explore. I have never really been formally 'taught' Windows: my guess is by now many people who use Windows on a daily basis haven't been either. Simply the amount of time you spend on it making mistakes and then learning from them probably determines how good you get at it (of course, formal training will help you get there much faster). So the basic scenario that changes is that when an error message pops up in English, the students look for the teacher to 'tell them' what to do. In Hindi, they are much much more likely to start clicking around and learning themselves from a cause-and-effect method.

I believe that access to technology is NOT the chief impediment in the uptake of computer/cyberspace by hindi-language users in rural India. The issues is compelling applications and content. So far the only things that have worked are a) Bollywood b) Bollywood and c) Matrimonials (but even THAT is usually in English).

So, Amitabh Bacchan's announcement that he is going to blog in Hindi (बिग बी ने हिन्दी में लिखा अपना ब्लौग) is somewhat exciting. It is more of what works, but the mass media appeal of Amitabh Bacchan can't be denied. We had a Diwali party a week ago at our house, and we were showing some Bollywood videos on the projector. I remember all the Indians getting excited when Big-B came on the screen during 'Kajre Re'. And I remember my American friend's comment, "He's...got funny hair", in response to his Mehendi-dyed hair. It really his appeal and legacy that draws the crowd (and not his current performances), and through a Hindi-language channel, that could be a potential draw.

Actually, having JUST read his blog, i don't think (or rather hope) that there's going to be much traffic to a site full of photos of the view from his hotel room (I sure hope the Oberoi Udayvilas is paying him for this)

Anyways, will keep posting stuff as and when it creeps up. अल्विदा।

P.S. Here's the direct link to Big-B's blog: http://bigb.bigadda.com/

Thoughts while travelling

I write this on my laptop sitting here at Union Station, Chicago, on my way to Ann Arbor from my hometown of Bloomington, IL. I had a long layover, so I decided to stop by the food court. I get stopped by this (presumably) homeless lady, and she asks me for money for food. Mom had packed some stuff for me, so I said, here’s some food you can have. Turns out she doesn’t have any teeth, and would settle for a coke.

Now this is not an uncommon situation in India, and usually I tend to just ignore it and move on. I think the Indicorps training kicked in at this point. I bought two cokes, and sat down with her. The conversation was, well, VERY interesting. She really had a lot to say. I think the lady was suffering from some dementia too, and I just didn’t what to say about most things (How do you react to a lady wearing foil under her hat so that the ‘people who can change shapes’ don’t read her thoughts?) I just listened to her politely, and when I finished my drink, I wished her good luck with her crocheting (the needlework stuff) and walked away.

Something about this experience shook me. In some sense, my experience in India was a lot about in-your-face reality. I could have chosen to like it or hate it, but as a ‘social worker’, I could not have ignored it. In America (or actually just as easily in India), you can choose to block it out, ignore it, act like it’s not there. It reminds me of a line from the movie Crash, which talked about how we’re so separated from each other within all this glass and steel. Student life has really been like a bubble. Ann Arbor has a lot of issues to work with: but it’s so much more comfortable in your room.

It’s been a whole week since I promised to write, and I clearly haven’t even written an iota. I can’t complain though: I’ve had an ultimately relaxing (read: lazy) break. Some TV, answer a few e-mails, run some errands. Nothing to really push the limits anyhow.

And that in itself summarizes nicely my modus operandi for the last three months. Do a little work (enough to get by), watch TV (I call it catching up on lost time), answer a few e-mails, talk a lot every now and then. If the US army helps you be all that you can be, I’m definitely operating at no more than 30% of what I can be. This is not the Ashish of the last two years. I owe it to myself (and so many more), to be much more than that. B-School can’t just be another two years to get a degree – there is much more I can do in this world.

In the spirit of true self-reflection, I have to talk about what I’m going to do about it. B-school does provide rigorous academics, and it does nourish my intellectual curiosity (to what extent is purely my choice). But that still doesn’t take much time, and I still operate in a very me-centric world. My biggest decision of the day really is to figure out what I’m going to have for dinner. I think I’m walk upto the Chinmayanand Mission in Ann Arbor, where Shardaji is the Acharya, and start giving time there. I was really impressed by her BalVihar and her philosophy on working with kids and helping them connect to their Indian/Hindu roots. I think it’ll be really good for the soul to work with kids again: remind me that most of the joys of life are really really simple.

Plus, I think for overall health I am going to start running again – but to a particular goal. I am going to run a marathon next summer (let’s call it May 2009). I think the running is also going to provide me much needed daily discipline.

It all sounds very nice: on the eve of this next quarter to begin, here’s my plan to engage my body, mind and soul. Stay tuned for weekly progress.

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YNMTYSYNO

You Never Move Till You Stick Your Neck Out


Words. Of Wisdom.

(oh ya, this means I'm back to writing a lot more)

P.S. Hope you enjoy the new Diwali template

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A statement of priorities

Business school is not 'difficult', but it is 'challenging'. It pushes you around with the workload. More importantly, there's a lot to do, and you have to pick & choose.

It becomes a question of priorities, and executing on those priorities.

I thought I had a very clear picture of what I wanted out of b-school: 1) Really understand how to start a business 2) Do really well in the fundamentals 3) Learn sales by helping out with Issist 4) Come out with a business plan for my own business in India. My priorities were straight.

Right now, I find myself NOT executing on ANY of these. And I don't actually know why. Many  little excuses come to mind: I haven't found my 'whitespace' yet, I'm not used to studying, America's got way too many distractions etc etc.

But I think a lot of it is because the fire within is getting lost. With all this talk of career, I find myself hedging (e.g. non-profit management could be close right? two years working in the US won't matter right?).

I need to figure out why I'm here. And get organized & start delivering. ASAP.

Any support on the matter is MUCH appreciated.

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As Easy As Apple Pie

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade, said a wise man.

So, last week, life took me accidentally to a farm in Michigan. I managed to get a lot of produce, including 'cooking apples' (i.e. ones that aren't good to eat). So, life handed me apples, I made apple pie. It was pretty exciting - the first thing I've ever baked. Followed the recipe to a T, but one thing that no one told me was how to deal with all the water/juice that the apples let out when they heat. I had one soggy apple pie to deal with.


Anyways, as I made the quintessential Americana dessert during the long American holiday weekend, I realized that I am going to have a very different set of experiences, and consequentially a very different set of learnings during these next two years. As I enter the next phase of my life, after a life-altering two years in India, I realize that the blog that I had devoted to these two years is best left as it is. I will continue to update ashishinindia.blogspot.com as things related to India's development, my connections/memories/contacts or the progress of GDL and Indicorps keep coming up.

This blog, creatively titled AshishInBSchool, should serve as a platform for me to reflect, record & communicate my experiences during my two years at the University of Michigan Stephen M. Ross School of Business Full Time MBA program, where I hope to gain core business skills in order to fulfill my goal of affecting India's development as a social entrepreneur.

There has been quite a bit of gap since this and the last substantial post on Ashish In India. Much has happened since then. While it was meaningful, it probably wasn't of enough burning importance to get me to write about it. I am getting back to the US lifestyle in a very smooth fashion. What HAS happioned tremendously is actually coming back to the US via Atlanta - my old home, my old workplace. It was nice to come back to a place where I felt at HOME, a place with OLD friends, FAMILIAR streets. Plus, the 15 hours it took for Delta airlines to get me from New York to Atlanta on the day I got here meant that I wanted to come to Atlanta more than any man has EVER wanted to come to Atlanta. I literally kissed the ground as soon as I walked out of the airport.

The other big thing: I am now starting classes from Tuesday at the B-School. The last week and a half has been a foundation session for the Ross Leadership Initiative (i.e. orientation that focused on leadership a lot). In many sense, a lot of it was what Indicorps trains us for and pushes us towards. But I am immensely impressed with the faculty at Ross, and realize very humbly that there is much for me to learn. I am also convinced that Ross is the best place for me because of it's sincere and strong emphasis on Social Responsiblity, Social Enterprise & Non-Profit Mgt.

Why am I REALLY happy about this: It gives me an environment where I can be true to my long-term goal as a person who actively takes part in INdia's progress by setting up businesses that aim to be agents of social change as much as profit-generators for their owners. It allows me to keep my passion intact, and maybe, just maybe, live up to the person that I can be.