Inflection Point

It is my last night in Dhaka. After two months of being here, I think I've stopped kicking and screaming (in my my mind), and accepted that this is a place I choose to work in. The traffic still sucks, but I know that now, and genuinely happy when I know the shortcuts. Being in a hotel all the time sucks, but its a choice I made, and its kinda nice (and not as creepy as it may seem) when the rickshaw guys offer to drop you off at your hotel. Yes its an expat lifestyle, but its paying off the student loans. Beyond the rationalization, I am doing some cool stuff. It was a call from my mother that helped provide the necessary perspective. "You know, you did good work in Bagar, but your work in Bangladesh will help so many more people". She believes in my work, she believes in me, the least I can do is try.

There continues to be this dichotomy between my personal and professional lives. The work I choose to do is meaningful, the lifestyle I accept to live is silly. And despite "knowing" what I need to change, somehow there is only so much energy I have to keep pushing and nudging the status quo.

But tonight I am compelled to write for other reasons. Tonight I think about tomorrow. Not just because its the last day, but its also when I will have to choose where my life will take me next (no, where I take my life next). Do I hold my promise to India and return, or stick it out in the US for a while? Do I stay with the potential of a corporation, or get back to the raw energy of grassroots work? Do I trade dollars for rupees? Do I trade in old friends for new ones? Do I leave the old family for a new one? Do I commit, or do I float?Do I choose lifestyle, or change?

Travellers call it a fork in the road. Engineers call it an inflection point. Regardless of the name, the choices I make in the next few hours will decide my trajectory for the next few years.

It's just as scary as it sounds.